and now I’ve got a Yamaha…


not a ’98 R1 in red (that I’d like), or an RD400 in blue (that I’d like) or even a 50cc FS1-E in yellow (that I’d like) but a GUITAR… as I’d also like the challenge of learning to play… but not to sing as I can’t.

So I’ve got the kit and I’ve had a try at a few chords – E and A to be exact but it hasn’t gone very well.  “Andy the Guitar Man” said he could teach me to play in 2 weeks but I’m in week four and still  a long way from playing.

When I was a child my gran had a nifty egg slicer that worked a treat but you don’t see them very often now. Other than the egg slicer in the form of a Yamaha guitar and it’s been pretty effective at slicing 3 fingers on my left hand. I just need some cucumber and white bread and we could could have afternoon tea and sandwiches. But don’t ask me to butter the bread or serve them as it would be very difficult with only one hand.

When the blisters heal and I kill all the nerve ends in my fingers, I’d like to play “Lucky Man” by The Verve, or “Cracklin’ Rosie” by Neil Diamond, or the intro the “Maggie May” by Rod Steward, or maybe some Simon and Garfunkel, or even “American Pie” – short version obviously!

Until then, I’ll just have to keep working on the egg slicer..


and maybe one day I’ll get a tune out of it.